Sunday, August 22, 2010

Advance #52: It's My Motherfunkin' Birthday

Not a lot of time to chit-chat today, DelVecchians, as Denny will soon be off to confidently enfleshen any number of skankatronic Phoenix-area sauceboxes until the break of dawn. But I wanted to make sure that you were on notice that today is significantly more important to you than you thought it was.

Yes, it was on this date many moons ago that Denny sprang, fully moustached, from Arabella Madonna DelVecchio's life-giving maternal Chia Pet.

Although I typically eschew gifts that are not attached to and/or that don't originate with another's body, I prepared a list of items that, if you're so inclined, would make my minute when opened:

Cash.

Denny has exactly $7.11 and three Southwest Airlines drink coupons to get me to the end of August unless I decide to peddle my loins as I was last forced to do in 2008 (remember "Too Big To Fail"?).

Still Growing,
Denny DelVecchio

14 comments:

Blanks said...

I see you're still doing this site. Apparently the parole authorities in Arizona are under funded.

susi spice said...

happy bum fluff sprouting day denny!!!

re arizona prison.. fight da power :0

frigginloon said...

Happy friggin birthday

lisa said...

Happy birthday!!! Hope you have the best yet and someone takes you to see a Twilight flick and gives you a happy ending or whatever you men like these days.
I wouldn't mind some cash either. I could probably do w/o a what you referenced in tags though. Maybe I can trick people and say it's like my birthday too and all I ever wanted was money and never got any. Yay!

singlegirlie said...

I extend the most heartfelt and soggiest of birthday wishes to my large hunk o' burning love, Denny D.

I understand about the sauceboxes, my love, as I know a simple girl like me could never truly tame a sexpot as explosive as you. Plus, I could never deny others of my gender to know such pleasure.

But know that when you return, I shall bestow my gift to you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV8vB1BB2qc

Always Glen Close to your Michael Douglas,

singlegirlie

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Blanks: Sorry to rain on your prison fantasies.

@Spice: Sorry to rain on your aging and prison fantasies.

@Loon: Watch your language up in here, love.

@Li-Li: Welcome to Denny's shack of ill repute.

@Single: And, so, you secured the back and secured the windows?

I was planning to break this on a regular post, but Denny's strongly considering a move to the Greater L.A. Metro Area to pursue my film making dreams.

Oh yes.

nursemyra said...

hmmm.... you're only three days older than me :-)

singlegirlie said...

Yes, darling. Everything is sound and shatter proof. It's go time.

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Single: Denny better not stand up now. He has no blood flow to his brain.

@Good Nurse: I prefer to think of it as you being 362 days younger.

Vodka and Ground Beef said...

How much for your loins? For a good price, I'm in the market.

I changed my Facebook religion status to "DelVecchian," and I'm really proud.

Happy Birthday!

Karaoke Activity Partner said...

A special belated b-day blog post just for you - my best friend - up on Karaoke Activity Partner.

Ron-Yves said...

Sorry I missed the celebration ya bastard---I'll overnight you some nude pics of Rod Roddy as a belated gift...

Happy Smurfday.

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Vodka: Denny's not a piece of meat.

@Ronny: COME on down!!

@KAP: You're a satisfied DelVecchian. Denny's proud of you! Off to check out the post.

@Vodka: Denny is a piece of meat. Who the hell am I kidding?

Denny DelVecchio said...

KAP, Denny's flattered, my sweet. And totally nude from the waist down.