Monday, August 16, 2010

Special Guest Star #1: Such Tight Slacks

Denny has decided to step aside and hand over his sacred internet Magna Carta to wicked step-sister site, suchtightslacks.com.


Stop on by, say hello and tell the crazy motherfucker that Denny Dance sent you (Denny exits now and Ron-Yves enters).


Top 3 Reasons Why Our Staff Has Agreed To Sit Down At DENNY'S:

1.) Denny's blog (like ours) has roots in a 'New' state: Although Your New Bad Habit is currently operated out of a dank, communal basement somewhere in the desert southwest, the major groundwork for this site was laid in Denny's home state of New Jersey.  As some of you know, New Hampshire is the chosen location for SuchTightSlacks.com to produce our blasphemous bull-shit.  And our respective websites continue to be inspired by these brand spanking 'New' states.

For those of you living in an 'Old' state, which probably emits a constant aroma of peat-moss and aging testicles---you should know that there is a brotherhood and a code of honor amongst folks like Denny, myself and everyone else whose state still bares the price-tag and that new state smell...

2.) Hair Advice: It's clear to our staff that Denny possesses some of the nicest hair found his side of the Mason-Dixon line.  We're hoping that fortnightly contributions to his site will eventually prompt him to reveal some of his damn secrets.  If he chooses not to discuss these matters with us, that's fine too---it will have been an honor just to work with someone who displays such spellbinding locks...

3.) Vaginal Procurement: It's not our first time at the rodeo people---Over the years I've discovered that, in the ongoing effort to score with chicks, it simply behooves me to become associated with gentleman like Denny.  Side Note:  CNN recently reported that one text-message sent from Denny after midnight can induce orgasms in up to 5 different women at once...

The truth is, it's nearly impossible for Denny to handle his current workload of intersexualcourse with Kelly Kapowski look-a-likes.  Our staff is more than happy to clean up the overflow...

Cheers!
Ron-Yves Strouteau
suchtightslacks.com

DENNY'S: The only place where the waitresses do the 'tipping'.

16 comments:

susi spice said...

do you know what thats a load of crap...Denny sent me 2 text messages last night and i got nothin! i waited..waited... waited... no orgasm!

id like to complain to the customer service department, you are clearly falsely advertising.. :P

Love in the Dumps said...

intersexualcourse. Is that a three course meal at Denny's? In a skillet? Bravo, your tightness. Dumps will have to follow suit in the coming weeks.

Denny DelVecchio said...

First of all, I think the photo of Denny dance is quite flattering.

To put it bluntly, I would!

Dumps, I've been asking for a write up from you on the Latvian Interior Minister scandal for how many weeks now? Make it happen, partner.

Spice, those texts must have been from a wannabeme if you still had a shred of control over your more base yearnings after reading.

singlegirlie said...

Do testicles smell worse when they age? Apart from Denny's, of course. I'm certain they smell more like fresh roses with each passing day.

Denny DelVecchio said...

I've been told Addidas cologne.

susispice said...

Addidas cologne? obviously that would be the faux version from China laced with a touch of cyanide cause the real one is called Adidas.. :P

dunbo! lol

Ron-Yves said...

When I was in my 20's, my balls smelled like pop-tarts...When I hit 30, they smelled like the generic store brand version of pop-tarts...downhill is downhill...

-s

ps - That waitress pic, compliments of Sampsonianslumber---is priceless...

Ron-Yves said...

The waitress is a buttah-face eh? She could use a breast-nairing as well...

My testicles smell like the generic version of Pop-Tarts...10 years ago, they smelled like the real Pop-Tarts...

Bull-shit...

-s

susi spice said...

lol ron so they went from.. "mmm strawberry" to "what the hell is that old cardboard smell coming from?"... is that about rght? lol

Ron-Yves said...

Obviously I didn't think my first comment was accepted...Obviously I was wrong...Obviously I'm bored as Hell if I'm taking the time to explain this bull-shit to you sweaty bastards.

Obviously, Aunt Jemima is a man...

-s

Denny DelVecchio said...

Slacks, I liked your comment.

Denny DelVecchio said...

Slacks, I liked your comment a lot.

Denny DelVecchio said...

Slacks, I liked that comment.

Bearman said...

Slacks, I disliked you comment.

Why can't blogger do inbedded comments. haha

frigginloon said...

OK, I can't seem to get out of my head the thought of Ron's balls smelling like generic pop tarts. Dear god make it go away...happy place, happy place!

Vodka and Ground Beef said...

Seeing Denny in a Denny's waitress dress is a lot to handle.

Hot.