FOR IMMEDIATE PUBLICATION:
To confirm recent internet rumors, cocksure superblog Your New Bad Habit has secured the services of suspended Pro-Bowl Wide Receiver Vincent Jackson from the San Diego Chargers for cash considerations and prominent West Coast hellcat Single Girlie's I-Phone number, beating out the Minnesota Vikings and St. Louis Rams just hours before Jackson's suspension was set to jump three additional games.
Said YNBH CEO Denny DelVecchio: "Brett Favre is the crusty, detestable bastard love baby of Yoda and Rachel Berry. That is all."
Jackson is expected to play Wingman for DelVecchio, although he could occasionally run the Wildcat.
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13 comments:
It's heartening to know that you believe in yourself and the ample physical gifts that you boast.
Oooooh, hellcat! I love your little pet names for me, Den-Den! Meeeeow!
I can't believe I'm doing this, but I figure not too many people read the comments section here, right? Plus I had three slices of pizza and I'm feeling damn bold tonight. My number is 310-469-0269. Shh, don't tell! Can we trade that in for the cash?
"cocksure superblog" = absolute and unadulterated WIN. You're way with words is wooing me good sir.
a man loves a confident woman, and a woman with sign - pointed towards her lady parts - that says, "Enter Here"
@Single: Denny called that # 37 times. A matronly woman named Esmeralda kept insisting that it wasn't your number. My conclusion? Bitch stole your phone.
@Doc Cyn: My wins are usually adulterated, so that's nice to hear. And Denny's Wooing like John, baby.
@KAP: Denny doesn't need the sign, love.
I love friggin baseball, go Lakers!
YNBH - I just said that acronym out loud and someone asked if I needed the Heimlich. "I'd rather have a hind lick", said Dumps, and walked off.
@Dumps: What's an acronym for acronym?
@Loon: I'm a Columbus Blue Jackets man.
I just opened my fortune cookie and it read:
You have an unusual equipment
for success, use it proper
Obviously I thought of you Denny.
That makes two of us, love.
Que!?
I like ice tea hehe
Esmerelda is my nanny. Not the nanny of my child, I don't have one. She is the nanny of me. I never outgrew her. She is very protective, unfortunately. It seems she has learned of your reputation, Denny, and is trying to protect me from your badass ways. But like Romeo and Claire Danes, I know we will find a way to be together. I shall let down my hair and you will climb up and we will ride off on my giant purple spider named Mike.
i'll bet you do, suze....and stop speaking german up in here.
i want to analyze you, single.
yes, denny's shift button is broken.
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