Sunday, September 12, 2010

Advance #55: Daniel Craig

Denny's secure enough to have this mouthwatering, seam-bursting fountain of masculine spermwater and his unbridled virility featured on this sacred page.

How about you?

Normal Heart Rate,
Denny DelVecchio

17 comments:

Matt Brand said...

considering some ladies mistakenly say i look like him, I am a BIG BIG fan

susi spice said...

daniel craig...im sorry i didnt really read what you said i was distracte........what were we talking about??

Vodka and Ground Beef said...

I'm secure enough to have his fountain of spermwater near me. VERY near me.

singlegirlie said...

That pansy got nothin' on Denny or Brand.

And by the way, did you hear?

http://perezhilton.com/2010-05-26-daniel-craig-gay-scandal

I was just at this bar, but I didn't see him. I thought I saw Matt, though. First Friday?

singlegirlie said...

Where is my Denny?????????

Who is this animated replica of my gorgeous man that actually looks more like Ron Jeremy????????

The mullet is not as lush. The stache is not as plush. The eyes do not twinkle and where is the tux? I am beside myself with grief.

Please bring my Denny back to me. It's not the same without you. Now what will I masturbate to?

Heartbroken,
singlegirlie
aka The Girlfriend

Denny DelVecchio said...

I spent almost 15 minutes coming up with witty responses to all of you only to have my internet go out.

I'm sick about it, but not so sick as to start over. Denny has a date this eve with a Florence Henderson doppelganger and I need to finish my intimate bleaching.

bschooled said...

Your security is one of the things I admire most about you, Denny.

That, and the fact you recognize the importance of intimate bleaching.

Love in the Dumps said...

First Friday. Venice. 2010. Brand bumped elbows, literally, with a certain Single Girlie. Was she wearing those jeans she always talks about? Yes. Yes she was.

Love in the Dumps said...

@vodka - SPERMWATER HAHAHHA.
Oh I need to lie down now.

Denny DelVecchio said...

@B: I'll send you a before and after. you'll have an appointment within an hour.

@Dumps: As long as she was wearing something.

Anonymous said...

I've got my breathing apparatus on, I'm going in. If you don't hear from me ...good!

Denny DelVecchio said...

It's been 12 hours.

Good for you.

Trisho said...

My heart rate is normal too....Daniel Craig is not my type.

I vote for the "real Denny" picture to be put back up....it made me giggle.

Denny DelVecchio said...

Let it not been said that Denny isn't a responsive and tender lover.

The picture is back...and bigger than ever.

bluntdelivery said...

i'm not sure if i'm happier about

1. the cheeseburger i'm eating
2. your stable heart rate
3. the labels used in this post

okay, the labels.

singlegirlie said...

@Dumps - so it WAS you in the Roosterfish! I'm calling Perez.

@Denny - thank the lord in heaven above! And below. Masturbation may now resume. Now please remove the orange, mustached Don Johnson. I want the real you everywhere! Ohh! Ohhhhh!

Anonymous said...

Denny's Spermwater - I see a new nitch in the vitamin acai infused water products out there.... I want a cut. This would also be a product keeping in line with your new menapausal Martha Stewart spin you have a' cookin'