Sunday, July 25, 2010

Advance #46: Thank You For The FINAL NOTIFICATION, Mr. Okon

I'm on my way out for the evening, but I'd be remiss if I didn't properly thank a gentleman by the name of Mr. Adebayo Okon, the deposed former Deputy Secretary for Commerce in Nigeria, for giving me a FINAL NOTIFICATION of his willingness to allow me to serve as an intermediary for the about-to-be-seized funds ($26,800,000!!!) that he and his band of freedom fighters are trying so desperately to find a temporary caretaker for.

I'd imagine that most busy public luminaries in his position would stop short of sending such a FINAL NOTIFICATION to someone they were entrusting with so solemn and time-sensitive a task.

But apparently Mr. Okon and his President have seen something in Denny that makes them willing to risk everything by sending a FINAL NOTIFICATION rather than simply moving on to another agent.

I don't know if Mr. Okon is a regular reader of this news magazine, but I presume that he did a fair amount of homework before settling on me as such a trustee.

His liberal use of all caps and boldface in his FINAL NOTIFICATION simply underscored the importance of every word in the detailed six paragraph missive, and made me check myself when briefly curious about why, if he was sending the funds, he needed me to also forward a $5,000 security deposit of my own money to a bank in the Cayman Islands.

I'm sure he knows what he's doing, however, so I'm going help him. As a firm believer in African democracy, how could I not?

Finally Notified,
Denny DelVecchio


B. Ryans said...

LOL a similar thing happened to me about a year ago, except I replied with a fake account number. The guy actually wrote back and told me to check the number because it didn't work. That's when I told him to lick my nuts. He never wrote back.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who actually got paid doing this? I feel bad for the rest of you.