Sunday, July 4, 2010
Spoiler Alert #7: The American Revolution
The Stamp Act of 1765.
The Boston Massacre of 1770.
The Tea Act of 1773.
The Intolerable Acts of 1774.
A lot of really bad shit was going down back in the day and, although there was no Denny DelVecchio around to single-handedly rally a weary and increasingly oppressed conglomeration of colonies into action with both sex appeal and swagger to burn, armed conflict and shouts of Freedom, Motherfuckers permeated the thick New England air.
And, several war-weary years later, just when things looked the bleakest, one or more of the homeboys on our money kicked their shit into overdrive and rallied for a series of stunning military conquests which paved the way for an incendiary victory party featuring Cher and a large phallic battleship--on, yes, the 4th of July.
Denny hates to give away the ending, but it was the Americans who were on that Bacchanalian pleasure cruise.
Happy Independence Day, American DelVecchians! (Your New Bad Habit also hopes that all of our friends in Europe, South America, Africa, Australia and Asia have kick ass 4th of July celebrations of their own today.)
Engorged With Patriotism,