To The Beguiling Tipper Gore

June 1, 2010

Dearest Tipper-

I hope this missive finds you well, and I can't tell you how long I've waited for this beautiful day--one where I can finally lay my myriad emotions bare at your supple bosom.

I've spent the better part of my adult life patiently biding my time in the hopes that, one day, the two of us would be able to consummate my love for you.

It now seems, Mary Elizabeth (wink wink), that my patience is about to be richly rewarded. And at last you can find both passion and acceptance in my tender, muscular arms. 

Hush, child.  Denny doesn't need an answer now.  It has surely been a grueling day for you, and I want your aching acceptance of my love to unleash itself after an honest night's rest.  That's the least I can do for my beautiful little nymphet.

Have I eschewed the pleasures of the flesh as I waited for you?   No more than you did, I'm sure.  But please know I don't begrudge you even a single night of carnal delight that may have arisen in your marital bed.That's your cross to bear.

I was once married, too.  And I know the unique brand of love that can only exist between a man and the woman he called his wife for just under 6 days.

So, my elegant queen, slumber peacefully this evening, and drop Denny a text tomorrow AM so we can perpetrate the hook-up. I recommend we meet somewhere between your East Coast and my Arizona.  Let's say Texas.

Tipper Gore DelVecchio.  I think I could get used to that.

All Of My Love,
Denny DelVecchio

P.S.: I've always hated Dee Snider.