Monday, June 14, 2010
Regress # 32: I Was Almost A New Bohemian
It was 1996.
I was at a crossroads in my feral young life, loving like a 70s stag film flesh magistrate and always at the ready for the night's next big thrill.
And then I met "Edie" in the baked goods aisle at Cousins supermarket. And nothing was ever the same again.
She was in town playing a free show for the Camden Tulip Fest, and had a "bit of the grumbles" which could only be satiated by a marbled pecan bear claw. As the sweet dews of fate would have it, I already had the last one lovingly cradled in my musky paw.
We shared that nectarous pastry, I called her a Poor Man's Natalie Merchant, and 16 minutes later I was freaking her.
The Winds of the Gods continued to blow forcefully that day, as New Bohemian bassist John Bradley Houser had to undergo an emergency uvula excision. And Edie was suddenly missing half of her rhythm section.
That night I made sweet passion to the crowd--even going off the set list to play an aching, atmospheric solo cover of Peter Cetera's timeless The Glory of Love.
After the lights went down, she asked me to give it all up to become a New Bohemian--to leave the comfortable life I knew behind and venture into tomorrow hand in hand with her.
But, as you might imagine, I was simply getting way too much top notch Camden Community College tail to go that direction.
Hard Rain's Gonna Fall,