Friday, June 3, 2011

Advance #78: Several Valid Reasons To Wake Up Tomorrow

Like the dazzling sun ascending in the beautiful Western sky at the bequest of Cragillio the Vile, Denny is about to leaven a sweet cadre of new little baby DelVecchios.  And by baby DelVecchios I mean headlines to stories that I'm almost certainly never actually writing.

Although it won't be this good (thank you, KAP), it should allow you to release your pent up fluid of choice on time and under budget.

Happy weekend, my life partners.

New poll: Your Facebook friends don't really give a shit if Jeff Conaway rests in peace.

Report: Cuckolded sadsack beginning to feel like third wheel.

Blake Lively insists naked pictures of Blake Lively aren't her.

Sheen reportedly lucid, considerate after drug underdose.

Emoticon fails to resonate.

Steering wheel, shoulder belt resting comfortably after crash involving girthy reality star.

25 years later, Richard Gere rumors continue to haunt gerbil.

Lohan left on cutting room floor.

Gabriel Byrne boils over: "How does that ugly fucker Geoffrey Rush keep getting all my roles?"

Hips don't lie,
Denny DelVecchio


Nubian said...

Thanks for the Cuchini link.

Hope your weekend is filled with unicorns and glitter.

Penelope said...

Yes, that Cuchini link was...something else. I think if I really want to feel horrible about human beings, I'll watch the video on that site. I'm saving it for later. When I really want to feel horrible about human beings. Some time in the future, you know?

I love the word girthy.

Happy weekend to you too, D!

Linda Medrano said...

You are something of an oracle. This is truly amazing stuff! Incomprehensible to me, but amazing nonetheless. Kind of like God. Know what I mean?

Bearman said...

Who knew Criss Cross had another song besides Jump.

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Nube: You're welcome, love. Cuchini your life away like Denny.

@P-Lope: Girthy sometimes says it best.

@Linda: I don't, but I'm flattered all the same.

@Bear: I know...I loved the whole 1984 album.

Denny's first cousin once removed and "first" said...

Cuchini saves me from embarrassing moments... like when I don't wear underwear at all, and my skirt blows up! Thank god I have the cuchini pressed firmly against my camel toe to prevent being laughed at!

singlegirlie said...

I've missed you, Denny. Have some catching up to do. Can I get the finger? xoxox single

Denny DelVecchio said...

@DFC: Brings me back to family reunion 06. So much toe.

@Single: Maybe even three, love.

Dr. Cynicism said...

When are you going to create your very own magazine/newspaper? You'd be the next New York Times - except with tons of illegitimate children across the country. Now let's hope all our emoticons continue to resonate.

singlegirlie said...

Yippee for three! I'm warming it up, Kris.

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Doc Sin: I think that I just did...In my pants.

@Single: I'm about to!