Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Advance #73: Spielberg Announces Film Version of Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl"

Apparently growing weary of the stifling expectations of massive-budget action and science fiction films, mega producer Steven Spielberg announced his plans Wednesday to make a feature-length epic based on pop-siren Katy Perry's once Buzzworthy I Kissed a Girl music video.

With the story's deft, confident beats, bold female protagonist and timely message of making out super hard with another chick in front of your boyfriend while not even remotely being a lesbian, the Amblin helmsman may be plunging towards another Academy Award with this cheeky, melt in your mouth re-imagining of Fuse TV's #11 video of 2008.

"My lovely (and significantly less talented) wife Kate has been tugging at me to do an E.T. reboot for years, but I see that's not necessary anymore, so I looked at the sexless gomers that live and breathe prostrate at the feet of my science fiction library and thought to myself, 'forget those fucktards. Papa Spiels is doing what feels right.' And this feels so right."

Variety is reporting that talks are underway with Boys Don't Cry's Kimberly Peirce to direct the Larry McMurtry-tomed script.  Said a source "Steven is searching for the right voice to bring this elegant but fragile same-sex chef-d'oeuvre to life, and he thinks Kimberly's unique eye for muff would be ideal."

For her part, Perry seems to be on board. "If anybody can take my artistic vision for that haunting and elegant coming of age anthem that I wrote on a killer ski trip Junior year to the screen, it's George Lucas."

Executive Producer,
Denny DelVecchio


bschooled said...

"...Kimberly's unique eye for muff would be ideal."

Do you happen to have this source's digits? His words are like ejaculatory* panty remover.

*both definitions

ps. I'm working on a special gift for you, forbid-Den. Keep your unique eye for muff open.

singlegirlie said...

This is about as good an idea as her husband starring in the title role in the remake of Arthur.

Hollywood swingin'. And missing.

pattypunker said...

i have an eye for muff and i always mix up spielberg and lucas so i'm pretty sure katy perry wants me for this role.

Denny DelVecchio said...

@B: Her # is the same as Denny's.

@Single: I can't even say that chimpanzee's name. I'll cut him.

@Double P: I'll pass your alias along.

bschooled said...

I call it my vision board.

Denny DelVecchio said...

Please permiss Denny to post that immediately.

Anonymous said...

This article is total bullshit.

singlegirlie said...

@bschooled: WOW. Looks like you are perfectly in sync with the Universe. I may need to hop in on some of that action. Very SHINY. Me likey.

@anonymous: You just made Denny's day.

@Denny: Love & BJs.

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Anonymous: Thanks?

@Single: Love and BJs.

Denny's first cousin once removed and "first" said...

Anonymous wasn't any good in bed.

Denny DelVecchio said...

Denny disagrees.

blunt delivery said...

she snagged russel brand.

and i just can't make peace with that. i will be protesting this movie.

but we can still make out in the back of your truck outside the theater?

Denny DelVecchio said...

I think you know the answer to that one, love.

Can we make out sooner?