Spoiler Alert #8: And Katy Perry Ends Up With.....

She began her meandering journey toward the bewitching erotic truths found in and around Denny's bulging velvet hotpants as an acne-scarred crooner for Jesus.

Then came the predictable "Ditch God" phase, where her producer forced her into an unusually lurid form of white slavery better know as lesbianic-themed, chart-topping popular music.

Her third act began with living out her Mother Theresarian fantasy of first befriending, then biblically-reclining with a kindly, bearded Anglo hobo she first gazed upon urinating himself in a sperm-pocked West Hollywood alley.

And how does this twisty little morality play end?

With KP lovingly cradling Denny Dance and a phat bottle of Courvoisier in front of the fire on Christmas Eve 2017, as our twins Zan and Jana playfully open their presents with their pert 22 year old live-in Estonian nanny Elenora in tow--that's how.

Happy Ending,
Denny DelVecchio