Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Advance #74: DelVecchio--A Ready Friend To Turn To

You and Denny have always been 2gether.

When you sought an empathetic, non-judgmental lover to tend to your piss fetish, Denny was there.

When you required a curvy, fully shaved figure model for your bi-weekly nude drawing club, Denny was there.

When you needed bus fare home from DelVecchio Ranch during that F-4 tornado last July, Denny was there.

And when you cried out for someone to join you at the Owl City concert at the Phoenix Rodeo back in 2010, Denny was there.

So it should come as no surprise that Wednesdays will, from here until the end of recorded history and/or until Gibralto the Destroyer ascends to claim his Earthly throne, be dedicated to answering your most vexing and spasmatic laughter-inducing queries of the heart.  

If you want your life to be a little better, drop Denny an email with your question by Monday nights and he will do his best to sift through the tens of them and get to yours.  Especially if it has a vagina shot with it.

Said email: dennydelvecchio@gmail.com

Saving humanity from itself yet again,
Denny DelVecchio


CL said...

You seem a tad self obsessed. Keep trying though.

Anonymous said...

You double as a curvy, fully shaved figure model?

singlegirlie said...

A question for Denny... Must think...

Who put the bop in the bop-shoe-bop-shoe-bop?

@CL - you'd be self-obsessed if you were Denny, too.

Denny DelVecchio said...

@CL: A tad?

@Good Nurse: I triple as one.

@Single: Denny, that's who. Again and again...

Miss Jane Bundy said...

CL - l'm self obsessed, get it straight.

Dearest Denny -

When I was 14 years old, my 2nd cousin Chuckie don' stole my virginity. My question to you is, how do I find it to get it back? Is it gonna be like when o had to track down my birth ms and pa, and it turned out it was who I had thought all along was my big Sis Shirlene and my 9th grade earth science teacher Mr. Mower?

Thanks a basket of Siamese kittens,

Cousin Jane

Anonymous said...

Somehow I feel short changed that your email address didn't read


Denny DelVecchio said...

@MJB: Do I know you biblically?

@Loon: That one hit the mark. (Get it? Hit the mark. Double entendre.)

Anonymous said...

Denny, I'd leave you with my vagina pic, but it's not as pretty as you'd think it would be, plus it's an evil vortex.
I love the model falling down .

Miss Jane Bundy said...

You're Chuckie's older brudda right?

pattypunker said...

denny, i had a dream where i was supposed to be peeing into this bed pan like thing but my pee shot straight up then arched backward like some kind of reverse water fountain and hit the nurse right in the eye. what does this mean?

Anonymous said...

OMG Denny, you aren't the sexy sax man are you?

Denny DelVecchio said...

@OCD: Denny spent a wonderful evening with that model some years back. She even tipped me 30% after her meal.

@MJB: And his father.

@Double P: Not sure but the hottest thing I've heard all day.

@Loon: If you want it to be true bad enough...it will be.

Dr. Cynicism said...

Can it be?! An advice column from THE Denny DelVecchio? All those prayers to the heavens have finally paid off. I'll sleep better at night - thank you Oh Captain My Captain.

Denny DelVecchio said...

Doc Sin: I'll expect 1-2 letters a week from you alone. And that's just relating to the Sophomore Art History major you're shacking up with.

blunt delivery said...

owl city?

that IS a dedicated friend.