Friday, January 1, 2010

Good-Bye You Haggard Old Witch (aka 2009)

I hope everyone brushed at least twice last evening.

While I didn't dabble much in the oral hygiene arts on New Year's Eve, I did get to shake my love canoe at a little soiree tossed by one Brandi Marie Longsdorff aka Miss September 1987. Mujer Boner Alert!

Don't hate me because I had the privilege of resting my peepers upon the types of Amazonian dolls that you had tucked between your box spring and mattress for the better part of the sad, gimp years better known as your teens twenties.

Don't hate me because I was able to throw down four burgundy mojitos before you had the top off of your first Natty Light.

And definitely don't hate me because I did it all dressed in nothing more than my party jockstrap, Ralph Lauren leather funkpants and powder blue velour oxford unbuttoned to within a hairsbreadth of my musky badlands.

Hate me because I did it all with your Mom on my arm.

Oh, it's Unbelievable!!!

Your Daddy,
Denny DelVecchio

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