Sunday, January 9, 2011

From The Bag Of Tricks: Outlive You (Denny's Bucket List #2)



As I continue with my periodic list of things that I must do before I leave this illuminant, earthlike planet, I can't help but turn a bit competitive.

Because perhaps the most important thing for me to accomplish before I die is dying after you.

That's right, I must insist that you feed from the bitter trough of mortality before I do.

Surely you concede that Denny has an abundance of grand schemes just aching to come to fruition while your modest aspirations--likely to include some combination of taking a commercial airline flight, learning to whistle the love theme from Saw II and finally getting to second base with Maria Lavacelli--suggest a future far less lustrous than my own.

Don't get me wrong, friend: I'm in no hurry to witness your demise, and have no present plans to accelerate it in any fashion, be it a duel, a drizzle of Polonium 210 in your lemonade or unleashing a bloodthirsty she-jackal into your sleeping quarters.

In fact, since I plan to live to the healthy age of 112, you can yet witness several decades worth of glorious sunrises while still managing to return to humble dust well before Denny Dance does.

Fair enough?  Good.

It's settled then.

All Smiles,
Denny DelVecchio

8 comments:

singlegirlie said...

“If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.”

- Winnie the Pooh

Karaoke Activity Partner said...

You will not outlive me because you didn't wish me a happy birthday. However, I happen to adore the love theme from SAW.

bluntdelivery said...

aw man,

so you were pretty bummed when my breast biopsy results were negative huh?

empathizing,

blunt

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Single: I once sort of had it bad for that Mom Kangaroo.

@KAP: We celebrate conception day, not birth day.

@Blunty: Read the fine print, my pet. Denny doesn't begrudge you living a long, fruitful life as long as you die before me.

womenarefrommars said...

I am all for this. I want to have something meaningful to pass on to my children.

Wait. I'm not having children. I don't think. Maybe my nieces and nephews... regardless. The next generation should not be without your wisdom. And grand schemes.

frigginloon said...

WTF, Saw II has a love theme? That is so going onto my Walkman!!!!

Denny DelVecchio said...

Bring it.

Karaoke Activity Partner said...

Ahhhhh! Doh! Ok, remember April 25th. (I know you're using your fingers to count this one out DD, but I was supposed to be a X-mas baby....)