Friday, December 10, 2010

From The Bag of Tricks: Denny Was Just Accepted To College! (Advance #29)

Although I secured my G.E.D. almost 15 years ago (and have had my Ph.D. in The Genital Arts for over a decade), I have always longed to be a college man like the father of some guy I knew back in Jersey who completed almost two full semesters at Rutgers-Camden Extension back in the late 70s.

Well I am both humbled and totally stoked to announce that I have just been accepted to, as they say in Europe, University.

I have long wanted to be an artist, and Mr. Marzetti once told me in junior high that I painted "just like a retarded Van Gough." I  have kept that amazing compliment close to my heart ever since.

This is the drawing that got me in.

In truth I thought Terrapin Sexplosion was a tad broad as I have always considered myself a stylistic disciple of pre-Expressionist Fauves like Matisse and Rouault.  My brash and aggressive use of colors and textures would seem to bear that out. 

Amazingly, I already start school in 10 days at the Glendale branch of the world-renowned Art Instruction Schools. I have to be sure to ask the Registrar about my dorm, and can't wait to get a healthy peek at the co-eds in their apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur.

It's gonna be a great year.

Pomp and Circumstance,
Denny DelVecchio

17 comments:

bluntdelivery said...

Denny love,

can we set up the same class schedule, that way we can exchange glances across the room while i suggestively chew on a BIC pen?

It's gotta be BIC. that's what Seinfeld uses.

Love in the Dumps said...

I knew when you said apple bottom butt that Blunt was also a member of said Uni. Have fun kids.

Bearman said...

I fell for that scam as a kid. Went and sent my stuff off and waited for my review. They told me they would accept me by paying $$$$$ for the rights to take their class. What happened to the free scholarship?

singlegirlie said...

That piece you drew is us, isn't it, Denny? I am beyond moved that you have paid tribute to our love this way. Please fax me a copy for my office?

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Blunty: Yes we can. BTW...what or who is Seinfeld?

@Dumps: I'll send the video.

@Bear: You must be thinking of another sham art school. Not my sham art school.

@Single: I'll fax it to you, except by mail.

Karaoke Activity Partner said...

Congrats Denny! I knew those flashcards I made you would help you in the long run!

justaskrod said...

Oh snap! Terrapin Sexplosion would be an awesome name for a Metal/G. Dead fusion band.

bschooled said...

I'm happy for you, Denny. Though after seeing the DelVecchiwich, I wish you would have applied at the Fame school of Arts instead.

Not since "Leroy's Last Dance" have I seen moves so fluid they practically dance themselves...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnrumtcaZ1Y

Hippest Snippets said...

We love you and your degree in the Genital Arts: http://bit.ly/fOranh

Denny DelVecchio said...

@KAP: Flashcards is apparently KAP vernacular for naked Polaroids.

@Rod: Fire away if you'd like to use it. Just comp Denny 2 tix when you hit Kenosha.

@B: Each day you give me new reasons to want to converge with you. In a platonic way.

@Hippest: You now have your first three credits in the bag.

bschooled said...

Platonic way? So, does that mean we aren't going to dry hump?
Let me know, I only have 5 days to return the bedazzled unitards.

(FYI-Yours is the one with "Dennilingus"written in bold letters across the chest.)

frigginloon said...

Oh for heaven's sakes Bschooled just hand over your friggin cousins book and be done with it.....

http://bschooled.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/cuntcoloringbook1.jpg?w=288&h=396

Denny DelVecchio said...

@B: Joke, my flesh puppet. Frottage away.

@Loon: Please overnight. Thanks.

Jenny said...

Denny!!
I'm baaaack...
http://jennysbean.blogspot.com/

:)

Denny DelVecchio said...

J....you remembered Denny!

(Did my feigned surprise come off as heartfelt?)

I'll drop by soon, love.

Ahmnodt Heare said...

I could see "Shell-shocked" as an appropriate title of your drawing. Congrats on getting accepted into Art Instruction School. It will look rad on your resume.

Denny DelVecchio said...

Thank you. It made my mother forget about three of my seven criminal convictions.