Saturday, December 18, 2010

From The Bag Of Tricks: I Was Almost A New Bohemian (Regress # 32)




It was 1996.

I was at a crossroads in my feral young life, loving like a 70s stag film flesh magistrate and always at the ready for the night's next big thrill.

And then I met "Edie" in the baked goods aisle at Cousins supermarket.  And nothing was ever the same again.

She was in town playing a free show for the Camden Tulip Fest, and had a "bit of the grumbles" which could only be satiated by a marbled pecan bear claw.  As the sweet dews of fate would have it, I already had the last one lovingly cradled in my musky paw.

We shared that nectarous pastry, I called her a Poor Man's Natalie Merchant, and 16 minutes later I was freaking her.

The Winds of the Gods continued to blow forcefully that day, as New Bohemian bassist John Bradley Houser had to undergo an emergency uvula excision. And Edie was suddenly missing half of her rhythm section.

That night I made sweet passion to the crowd--even going off the set list to play an aching, atmospheric solo cover of Peter Cetera's timeless The Glory of Love.

After the lights went down, she asked me to give it all up to become a New Bohemian--to leave the comfortable life I knew behind and venture into tomorrow hand in hand with her.

But, as you might imagine, I was simply getting way too much top notch Camden Community College tail to go that direction.

Hard Rain's Gonna Fall,
Denny DelVecchio

12 comments:

nursemyra said...

O think I'd be afraid to Get Freaky With You Danny

Love in the Dumps said...

I like how Nurse capitalized that - Get Freaky With You Denny is a terrific song time and I'm penning it as we speak

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Good Nurse: Maybe, but we both know Denny can rock a body all nite long.

@Dumps: I will retain BMI rights.

singlegirlie said...

Oh, the uvula-blessed have so many options.

I don't blame Nurse for being scared. It's not for the faint of heart.

Karaoke Activity Partner said...

Santa Baby,

I believe that the first time this child was born was when I fell in love with you DD.... It's too early for me to go thru your bag-o-tricks and look though....

Skankily in love,
Madonna, circa '89

frigginloon said...

You had me at a "Poor man's Natalie Merchant"

bluntdelivery said...

i miss the days when denny used to freak me.

saddened,

Blunt

Anonymous said...

please kill yourself delvecchio

womenarefrommars said...

New Bohemian vs. top notch Camden Community college tail...

Not often that rock n' roll is in conflict with freaking. Bummer, man - they're usually on the same team.

Still, I think you made the right decision.

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Single: Feel free to post the photos. In the name of advancing medical science.

@KAP: You've not before had any timing issues when dealing with Denny's bag of tricks.

@Loon: You had me at you.

@Blunty: Days? In the interest of accuracy, it was minutes.

@Anonymous: Ex wife means "ex" doll. Move it along now.

@Mars: Denny appreciates the nod.

Karaoke Activity Partner said...

I hate Anonymous.

Denny DelVecchio said...

Let Denny hate. I'm better at it.