Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Advance # 63: Coming Soon From Denny

Denny's unseemly hiatus is quickly drawing to a close, so he's already feverishly working on getting laid and shitfaced a number of brave, envelope-pushing stories to satisfy his patient, loyal DelVecchians across the Globe.

Stay tuned for these stories and much more . . .

Benched Pee Wee football QB feels "disrespected."

Look Who's Talking prequel now casting semen.

Your Mom calmly denies fucking your drunk, insulting friend last night.

Miley Cyrus cancels pending South Korean dates in show of solidarity with the North.

Stitch in time quickly yields to goddamn gaping hole.

YNBH Exclusive: Julian Assagne's private anagram Hades.

Groundbreaking Gay Unicorn character now slated for Glee.

Jailed Bernie Madoff's rectum loses track of new investors' deposits.

Potential Bachmann-Palin ticket forces Christ to accelerate Earthly return.

Betty White: "Just watch me out-blowjob Ke$ha in 2011."

Almost home,
Denny DelVecchio


nursemyra said...

Bring on those gay unicorns!

Potato Distilled and Beef said...

Mad respect for Miley Cyrus for her humanitarian efforts. Damn Betty White for stealing my New Year's resolution in 2011.

Bearman said...

I think Betty White should do some modern day pop diva songs like Pat Boone did in the day with Heavy Metal.

Anonymous said...

How did you know I wanted a Gay Unicorn for Christmas??

bschooled said...

So much for my goal to out- blowjob Betty White...

singlegirlie said...

Let's get cracking on producing actors for that Look Who's Talking flick, shall we?

Anonymous said...

I just love you.

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Good Nurse: Gay Unicorns for everyone!

@Vodka: One word for her--Polident. By her, I mean Ke$ha.

@Bear: Timbaland's in.

@Mars: Denny knows all, love. You'll come to see that.

@B: Still willing to assist in any way possible.

@Single: Denny's heading west. Start making the fertility chart.

@KAP: We have a lot in common.

Dr. Cynicism said...

Oh Denny, I fear that if you get this cutting edge with your journalism, "the man" is going to shut you down. I eagerly await reporting on the last story.

Anonymous said...

Anal sex jokes never do grow old... especially on Christmas Eve when you are doing the Anal Sex dance in your aunts living room prior to falling over in your chair.

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Doc Sin: Don't be afraid. Just take Denny's hand and let him lead you into tomorrow,

@KAP: You say that like I wasn't there.

Anonymous said...

Poor Betty's knees !!!!