Monday, November 22, 2010

From The Bag Of Tricks: Train In Vain (Regress #13)


I care not what grim personal or emotional depths you are currently plumbing.

It doesn't matter how soul-crushingly bleak your already rawboned lovemaking prospects have become.

It's of no moment that you find yourself shamefully devoid of skill in your chosen vocation as an erotic mime.

And I won't judge you simply because you spend most of your free hours in the musty crawlspace above your ex-girlfriend's apartment bedroom.

Because despite all of these lamentable human conditions, you're George Timothy Fucking Clooney compared to the bastard love child of Sandy Cohen and Dylan McDermott-looking, cleanse my ears with sulfuric acid sounding, Dark Angel Lucifer-spawned, mortal sin against humanity and all things sacred and holy better known as Train.

Feeling better now?

With Perfect Empathy,
Denny DelVecchio

14 comments:

Love in the Dumps said...

I knew I'd never ferget cha, Denny, even if you're in Wyoming, or whereever the fuck u r.

Denny DelVecchio said...

Flyover.

Dr. Cynicism said...

A-Fucking-men.

frigginloon said...

Drops of juniper Denny, drops of juniper!

Denny DelVecchio said...

I would rearrange that Chachi's smug face if I thought it could be done without me getting an eye blackened with a leather purse.

vodka and ground beef said...

Sometimes I feel like my 2 door 1995 Honda Civic is the only car on the road.

nursemyra said...

Something smells fishy

Karaoke Activity Partner said...

is that Howie Mandel playing the uke?

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Vodka: Hatchback? That's what I had heard.

@Good Nurse: I don't know what that means. But that's pretty common.

@KAP: If you want it to be badly enough.

singlegirlie said...

Okay, I've seen better heads on boils, but come on, Den Den, have some compassion. Not everyone can be as strapping as you. And you have to give him credit for the Mr. Mister reference.

P.S. How's granny?

Just telling it like it is said...

Feeling better.. Happy Thanksgiving

Denny DelVecchio said...

Die, Train, die.

Granny's all good. She sends her best.

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Just Telling: Looks like you're having a good week. Denny's happy for you.

bschooled said...

I just hope that Mr. Lonely Nerd who used to be just like me except for the "virgin through high school part" (but that goes without saying) isn't still out there looking for his no 'One'.