Monday, March 1, 2010

Regress #8: Gaga

Stop it.  Just. Stop. It.

I won't call her Lady since a fair-of-face young gent such as myself might rightfully surmise that her dirty places have seen more pounding than a trans-continental railroad project manned by meth junkies.

But, seriously, she's trying to combine Red Lobster facewear with Fifth Element-chic, topping it off with a ghoulish Romanian Death Mask--and that was just for a late night carb-gallop to Shoney's.

Gaga me with a spoon!

I'm sure having two fully functioning sets of genitalia must be as mesmerizing as a Kardashian at a womens dogsledding convention, but it can't be a free pass for everything from freebasing caviar to wearing a diamelle-encrusted leather codpiece to a Today Show interview. 

So, kind Sir/Mistress, please, for Denny, go back to your wayward hipster days, where the greatest offenses you committed involved breaking 129 pound club-boys' hearts.

If you look closely at the photo to the northwest, you can see a winsome tear forming above her left fore-antennae. That says it all.

Ex post facto,
Denny DelVecchio

2 comments:

Blanks said...

I'd hi..

I'd hi..

Actually, I wouldn't touch that with a gang leader in a supermax's penis.

Anonymous said...

Cruel. So cruel.

Signed,
Lobster