Let's just say that the pic to your left was just north of 9:30 and just south of a loving gaggle of sibling nudity that soon engulfed me in a passionate DelVecchiwich.
I said "church choir." You laughed. I said "ice cream social." You snickered. I said "ultra control top hosiery." You scoffed. Well who's laughing/snickering/scoffing now?
But just because you had a double date with a sixer of Keystone Light and three hour block of Time Warner quasi-smut doesn't mean that your night wasn't the equal of mine. In fact, without your grim celibacy, this post would not exist. And my dogs would have gone hungry.
Bless you, you. Your special brand of sexlessness inspires me in ways you cannot possibly fathom.
Say hello to your parents,