Monday, July 18, 2011

Advance #81: Project Mindfuck

Denny's trouser-bag is full but his mailbag is empty. Time to remedy this with a dip into the fetid well of upcoming YNBH featurettes--because filling a news hole isn't nearly as easy as they make it look in stag films.

Anti-Incumbency tidal wave claims Baltimore's Dog Warden.

Marcus Bachmann: "Village People's homosexuality was a hot, wet, delicious choice."

Goddard College student's toilet stall graffiti-themed folklore thesis garnering early Pulitzer buzz.

Franz Ferdinand now struggling to outsell actual Franz Ferdinand.

Medical Mystery: Everybody from 1896 either dead or missing.

Study: Lazy urban youth now engaging in The Half Dozens.

Labyrinth holding steady as Tom Cruise's 23rd best movie.

Self-Immolation Nation may go a touch too far, concede Fox Reality execs.

The Green Lantern reportedly not as good as that stupid whore Ella said it was. 

I'm in like with you,
Denny DelVecchio


Sub-Radar-Mike said...

hmm... now that you mention it, where are all those people from the nineteenth century? i call shenanigans!

Denny DelVecchio said...

That's like the 1900s right?

singlegirlie said...

The cowboy looks like Leonardo DiCaprio with a mustache. I always preferred the construction worker. How do you look in a hardhat, Denny?

Anonymous said...

"Labyrinth holding steady as Tom Cruise's 23rd best movie."

Did I just wet myself?

nursemyra said...

I'm interested in that medical mystery. Tell me more...

bschooled said...

"Crotchless" are my favorite kind of chaps.

ps. I love it when you combine little words with big words.

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Single: I think you can guess.

@Loon: If in public, that would be sort of awesome.

@Good Nurse: It's my penis. I've always just sort of lived with it.

@B: Is there any other kind?

pattypunker said...

michelle bachmann's news hole needs a plug and some feminine itch cream. i mean isn't it obvious?

Denny DelVecchio said...

I think her husband's gets a lot more attention.

Anonymous said...

Marcus Bachmann. Hi-lay.

Dr. Cynicism said...

Wait what? Marcus Bachmann displays feminine qualities?