Tuesday, April 5, 2011

From The Bag Of Tricks: Denny's Not Well

If you had ever suffered from a clinical case of Genital Retraction Syndrome, perhaps you could better understand why walking--let alone posting hysterical, family-friendly bites of comic platinum--is nearly impossible for me right now.

Pray for your boy Denny.  If you think it will help me in any way, offer to ritually sacrifice something of value to you in order to more quickly allow me to heal.

In lieu of flowers or gifts, please make a cash donation in your name to morbidly obese fuckwad Jonah Hill.

Low,
Denny DelVecchio

7 comments:

singlegirlie said...

I'll pull out your genitals, Denny. In fact, when I show up in my mesh teddy, I doubt we'll even need the forceps.

Anonymous said...

You just need a good set of pliers ans=d some Jergen's Denny-san

Denny DelVecchio said...

@Single: I'm reading this after it happened. You need to go with me to Vegas. I can use your predictive wiles.

@OCD: Done, my Sensei.

@P-Lope: It was time. It was time.

bschooled said...

Con-Den-sed,

To prove my undying affection, I will abstain from all tea-bagging related activities until you are well again.

Get well soon, D. If not for yourself, then do it for me.

Denny DelVecchio said...

B...word on the street is that Denny does it for you....everytime.

Dr. Cynicism said...

I'll sacrifice a virgin - mayhap that help?

Love in the Dumps said...

Now I have "Genital Retraction Syndrome" in my cookies. And Facebook keeps serving me ads for raisin. Thanks, DelDouchio.