Thursday, April 29, 2010
Advance #18: Precious
And why do I give her mad respect? Let me count the ways.
Residing in a ghoulish death-hovel in austere, cheerless Belvedere, Ohio? Check.
Living your days with a bloodthirsty maniac who makes breezy Can-Can outfits out of co-eds (and is the unquestioned Samurai of the no-wang dance)? Hell yeah.
Used as a cowardly canine bargaining chip in a desperate ploy by a portly abductee to secure sweet freedom from her nightmarish Prison of Horrors? Absolutely.
Being the most loyal "psychopath's best friend" this side of Robin Wright Penn? Most assuredly.
You, my brave Bijon Frise, have more guts than Robert Pattinson at a bachelorette party.
May your upcoming Disney Silence of The Lambs reboot be everything you so hope it will be.
Denny salutes you, P. Dogg, with a big, fat Gaines-burger for that ass.
Dog's Best Friend,